Not again!

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I give to you not as the world gives. Don’t be troubled or afraid. – John 14: 27 CEB

As you saw in my first post, I’m a guy with a super rare form of another rare disorder called Kartagener’s syndrome. To sum it up as non-scientific as possible, the tiny hairs in my nose, lungs, ears, and sinuses don’t beat as yours does. This causes infections in my ears, sinuses, and lungs.  The only way that I can hear properly is to get tubes inserted in my eardrums.  They drain the inner ear of fluid so that I can get the vibrations sent to my inner ear and hear.

My problem is I don’t have fluid in my ears its more like rubber cement! So I got a tube placed three weeks ago. I go to get a follow up on it yesterday and the tube was gone and he found another tube that he placed in there prior to the last one!  All I could say was:

“Not again! I have had three tubes placed in this ear as many months.  Why does this happen to me? Why do I have to keep subjecting myself to such a painful procedure so that I can have a normal life? Why was I born this way? I want to be able to provide and not be a burden.”

It seems like every time I try to get stable and finally have some peace, boom here comes something else to disrupt it. Sometimes I just want to sit in a corner and cry. Then there are some days that I just want to scream. I become so frustrated with the situation.   It seems like all I’m doing is living to survive instead of living to thrive.  That is just my humanity trying to overcome my faith.  Then the comfort of the Holy Spirit reminds me that, I have a God that is bigger than this.

We all go through that. We have a problem or a setback, and instead of relying on God we rely on ourselves. When were are faced with situations that we can’t solve or know how to fix our first instinct should be that we talk to our creator, God.  He made us so he is skilled in knowing how to fix us and sustain us. So issues like my overall health are not for me to worry about alone. Jesus promises us that he will give us peace.  So we shouldn’t worry about how or when it will manifest itself in our lives.

I already know that this won’t be my last ear tube. I already know that it will be painful. I also know that I’m not alone and that God will be there to comfort me. So in this season of chaos, I’m thankful that I have a God is my peace in the middle of it. As I get ready to face another tube insertion, I’m reassured that my faith will overcome the frustrations that I sometimes feel. God will give me the comfort that I need.